THE MOST IMPORTANT

I admit, I have a unique perspective on family, I won't go into the details other than to say I know family will ultimately determine a huge portion of my, and your, life trajectory. It starts when we grow up with mom and dad around, but it doesn't end simply because we move out/marry, we just change roles.

The Nucleus of your family: you, mom, dad, brothers and sisters. You're designed to be really close. You spend hours waiting on mom to get her hair ready; meanwhile, your sister pesters you because you ate the last bowl of Lucky Charms. The nucleus of the family is where your life really begins. As a father of a 15-month old I see how HUGE my role is in her life. I want her to be happy in life, so I make sure to smile as often as possible around her. Happy dad equals, happy grad.

Melinda and I want our little girl to know what it means to have an affectionate marriage, so we make sure to show affection to one another with her around, within reason of course. I want our daughter to have the drive to keep climbing even when she can't, so I don't always rescue her and give her what she wants. Sometimes her frustration because she can't climb to the top of the couch is exactly what she needs to climb to the top of the couch.

I want a worshipper in our family, and you will hear worship music on our stereos, often. I want a laughable-have-a-good-time family, and we rock out to Life is a Highway by Rascal Flats. I want a healthy family, so we walk, exercise. I want a God fearing family, so we pray together, read the bible and study.

I want a daughter who loves church, so I make sure we are not only at church, but doing church right along side the leaders. I want a daughter who has a great attitude, so I don't have nanny's and babysitters with bad attitudes.

I am a part of a nucleus, my family. Melinda, myself and Seven will determine the course of our lives more than anyone else, so we take good care to make sure we are headed in the right direction. Before us three, it was my parents, me and my sister, our nucleus.

At the end of my life if I've built a great church, everybody loves me, but my nucleus is missing the key ingredients, then I've failed. If you've built a great company, but your nucleus is distorted what have you really gained? I say, take care of the nucleus part of your family.

If the nucleus of your family is healthy than the rest of the "cell" will be healthy also. Parents, grandparents, uncle, aunts, cousins, nephew, nieces, and all the rest that make up the components of your family will flourish.

So make your "nucleus" the most important part of everyday.

EVERY PERSON NEEDS A PASTOR

By Jeff Knight

Being a pastor is not something I do, it's who I am. I chose the work of the ministry because I knew the Lord was choosing me to engage and impact people through the local church. I do not consider myself a professional in the sense that it is a "job," I would do it for free. I am a husband, I love my wife; I am a father, I love my daughter; and I am a pastor, I love the people in my church, most of them. BIG SMILE! That last part is funny right there.

Who is your pastor? Really, who is your pastor? If you do not have a pastor I won't throw myself out there and cheaply say, "I'll be your pastor!" Why? Because who your pastor is may determine more about where you are headed in this life and the next than you can even imagine. Everybody needs a pastor!

I can tell a lot about a person who has a pastor, here are some signs...

I know you have a pastor because there is something about you that desires more from life.
I know you have a pastor because you're generous with your energy and resources, you are the first to help our friends.
I know you have a pastor because I hear about Jesus operating in your life, you are continuously offering me a no pressure invitation.
I know you have a pastor because you talk about your church, how cool it is, what the mission is, how it has impacted you, and why you are a part.
I know you have a pastor because you know the source of your happiness, and even though you have a bad day now and then you recover.
I know you have a pastor because occasionally you surprise me with some really good wisdom for my life; although, I may not always tell you how you've impacted me.
I know you have a pastor because you talk about the message from church, I've seen your bible, you even quote it, but you don't know that I know it also.
I know you have a pastor because you keep loving me when I'm unlovely.
I know you have a pastor because you have a heart for the hurting, homeless and helpless.
I know you have a pastor because your heart of compassion is contagious and I want to help you do what you do.
I know you have a pastor because you care about your church, all churches.

I could go on and on. I think a good pastor sets the course for peoples lives! When the Word of God goes into action it unlocks the potential of God for your life. I know you have a pastor because you've been offended, and stayed; confronted, and cried; rewarded, and shrugged your shoulders thinking, "not me." I know you have a pastor because I can tell the difference between someone who does and who does not.

Those who don't have a pastor are uncertain about what will happen when they die, they have none to ask the hard questions, and none to listen to for answers.
Those who don't are often searching from relationship to relationship looking for meaning, but only finding more emptiness.
Those who have no pastor, they are not sure who they can trust, where can they share, yet, life would be so much more powerful if there were someone to impart to them.
Those who have no pastor struggle to find the amazing things in life that are so available through a relationship with God.

Pastors have a way of getting us to grow when it's not the right time, stretch when we are at the max, run when we felt like we should walk and give more than we thought we could. A good pastor is like a good coach, they have the ability to get a little more out of us than we thought we had within. Somehow, someway, it's probably the anointing on them, they can lead us to the top of mountains.

My pastor makes me believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, in myself and in what he and I are called to do together. Sometimes I can't get my mind around it, but again, that's how I can tell I have a pastor, there is always some element of my life a little unsettled, unanswered and always longing for more of what God wants from me.

And that is why every person needs a pastor, because life is too short to live alone and believe in nothing.

So how about it, Who is your pastor? If you don't have a pastor I'll offer to take you where few dare to go in this world. To really know the Lord and live the life he has for you out loud. Let's begin this weekend, at The Rock.

BIGGEST DECISION OF ADULTHOOD

The relationship with your significant other, spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, or fiance if your engaged, By Jeff Knight

This relationship is the most impacting relationship in your adult life. Mom and dad take you to the age of adulthood, but after that life usually involves your significant other! There is probably not a more important decision for you to make in your life than who you are going to marry! Did I say marry? You bet I did, because if you are of age to be married, not married but acting married; or if you are not of age to be married, but acting marred; you quite possibly are already like an ice cube in the boiling water, change forever!

For the rest of your life this person is going to impact every decision, emotion, day, month, year, season and etc. This person will decide with you the color of your car, toothbrush, hair, house and dog. They will be a part of your triumphs, when you are on the high point of life. They will be a part of your crashes, wrecks and days you feel like a joker.

Your spouse best take you up, to your potential. They better love you where you are at, support where you are headed, disagree when you are mediocre and cheerlead when you are excelling. If you were born an ice cube with a destiny you better not marry a pot of hot boiling water!

A few suggestions on how to stay out of the hot h2o from the start...

• Include trusted friends, family, your pastor in your decision before you even start a relationship with someone. They may see what you can't or are unwilling to see.
• Really take the time to get to know someone before giving your heart away. Don't awaken love before the right time. Do so and you'll pay with heartbreak.
• Wait on God. It might seem like a century, but God's best comes in His time.
• Pray. My wife prayed for her husband the entire time she was growing up. Nothing wrong with advanced prayer.
• Know who you are. I hate it when I hear about a story where someone marries and ten years later they separate because they say, "I'm having an identity crisis." Identity? Seriously, after ten years, your identity is not your own anymore, it belongs to other people. Know who you are before you start so you don't wonder who you are when who you are belongs to more precious ones, your kids.
• Take your time. You've got the rest of your life to be married. Make sure you do what you gotta do before for you say "I do." I hate it when a married person turns to their spouse and says, "I'm sorry, I just gotta do this..." No, you're married now, you lost the privilege to do what you wanted to do when you wanted to do it. Now what you do is a part of who you are, and you're married.
  

A few suggestions if you find yourself married, but your the ice cube and the kitchen counter is room temperature.

• Get back to the basics. Laugh, love, fun, tenderness, value, sympathy, empathy, wholeness, sex, food, fellowship, laughing, you know the things that made this marriage in the first place.
  
• Mediocrity creeps into every relationship. Sit down with your spouse and look around, what do you see that is mediocre about your marriage/surroundings? Get it out of your marriage, now!
• Prayer. Sometimes, at night, I will walk our property praying for my family. My prayer life is less than perfect, but that's what makes those moments when I intentionally pray for Melinda so powerful. Like the times when I reach across our bed after she is asleep and I pray a blessing over her.
• Serve. In our culture the focus is on getting our personal needs met, and serving has become a foreign word. Instead of demanding simply serve your spouse. If they act surprised by your service it's a clue you can serve more. If they act thankful it s a sign they really appreciate you. If they don't care, you may need to get some help.
• Get help. Marriages go through difficult times! Don't sit home and hope that it will get better. Get help if your marriage is struggling or damaged. You might as well admit that things aren't perfect and pursue God's best now instead of waiting until help is the only option, yes? Thought so.
• Excellence. Stop surrounding yourself with anything other than excellence. We don't use the "d" word in my house, it's not an option. Stop lowering your standards to what you see on television, or in a friends relationship or someones life. They are not you, you are not them. Put excellence on everyday.
  

The person you marry will significantly impact every area of who you are the moment the ink drys on the marriage certificate. Best to be hooked up with a spouse who is taking you where you both want to go!

ICE CUBES IN BOILING WATER

by Jeff Knight

Put an ice cube on the counter, what do you get? A puddle. Put it in boiling water, what do you get? More boiling water. An ice cube must be surrounded in the right environment, 100% of the time!

My life is no different. If you put me in a mediocre world, you'll get a mediocre run-of-the-mill ordinary man. My surroundings and environments determine who/what I can become. There is no escaping it.

I grew up in a home that had no recollection of the Lord until I was eight years old. At that point, mom and dad found Jesus as their savior and we started attending church. A few months later, I asked Jesus into my heart. I was the product of my surroundings. I know countless people who believed in God as a child simply because mom and dad did, there's nothing wrong with that.

When I became a teen it was the first time I recall questioning my faith, but not in a way like I wanted to rebel and live a different way, I wanted to know why I believed what I believed. It was also the first time in my life where I had teachers and influences challenging what I believed, why I believed. As I went to college it was the first time it seemed like there were a lot more people around me that didn't believe. As I grew it was tougher and tougher to know what I needed to know and be who I needed to be because my surroundings had changed drastically. Until the day I surrounded myself with true purpose. When I grabbed onto God's purpose for my life all the influences changed, so did my surroundings.

Back to the ice cube. The ice cube is never ready for the boiling water! It must not jump in! The ice cube is never ready for room temperature. Likewise, I am never ready to be surrounded by a bunch of mediocrity. I am never prepared for it. If I venture to the wrong environment I better tell someone where I'm going because more than likely I'll not be coming back the same!

So what am I saying in this post? I am saying that who you spend your time with, where you spend your time at; both determine your future. Paul said it this way, "Bad company corrupts good character." It's the truth. I must continuously be aware of who I am surrounding myself with, or I better watch out because the essence of what I am will change when the heat gets turned up.