JANUARY 31

It is on this day every year that I awake to the memories of my mom and dad, who I miss so much. It is on this day that they died in a plane crash, 9 years ago.

It hardly seems that long, but feels like an eternity. I forgot their smell, their touch and their laugh a long time ago, but their life long lessons live within, and when I see them in me I know it's mom and dad.

It hardly seems like I should be so well, but there was a time I was not. When you heal from loss you sometimes feel guilty, as if I am forgetting who mom and dad were. Yet, in reality, I was not well for many years. I thought I was well, but only when I was really well, could I truly know what it meant to be well.

Like all years, on this day, I will find a quiet place and ask myself one question: "Am I healing, or am I stuck?"

I don't mean for this to sound glib, but a lot of people have been through junk half the size of Goliath and they throw in the towel, they're stuck. I don't ever want to be stuck. Remember mom and dad, yes; the pain, yes, the moments of desperation, yes; it's my story! Honor them, yes! Laugh and reminisce, yes! Cry when I think of them, yes! BUT stuck, NO way. I've got too much life to live with my Lord, my wife and my daughter to be stuck.

I want healing. AND it's funny because I used to think healing was an all at once experience. Then my mom and dad were killed and I realized that healing is needed all at once, and whenever it is needed. There's not a season of the calendar that goes by where I don't shed a tear for what I've endured, but at the same time there's not a season where I don't experience My Healer. Jesus heals! All of it. Every part.

My mom and dad were some of the coolest people you'd ever meet. I miss them bunches, and at the same time, I know they are looking over the banister of heaven checking in on me from time to time. Love ya, mom and dad. See you in a lifetime!